let’s play a game called “are you staring at me because im hot or ugly”
I wish I could introduce myself as hey this is my daughter and my fiancé or my husband. And I don’t need to fixate on others but most people who have kids, their man has ether proposed to them or have gotten married. And I have this conversation with Ivan & it’s always “not anytime soon, we argue” well, yes we argue but that’s never going to stop. So why am I waisting my time with someone I’m never going to get married too? And I feel like I’m just sticking around because I can’t imagine leaving and taking care of a child alone. I don’t get a whole lot of help as it is, but I get a break once Ivan gets home from work and that’s my savings grace. I just feel so uneasy, I don’t know if he’s the one I want to marry, the person who takes all his shit out on me.
I’m having one of those nights that I lay in bed unable to sleep and cry, and think of all the things I want to say to my dad but probably never will.
I feel like I want a closer relationship with God. I want to work on all my human flaws & going to Him with my problems but it’s so hard because I can’t hear Him!
I’m the type of girlfriend that when I see you at your worst I’ll fall in love with you even more.